Post by Marcus Shadow on Jul 6, 2011 0:47:18 GMT -5
July 4, 2011
With Marcus Shadow
Welcome to this week's edition of the RAW Recap! I am your host, Marcus Shadow! This week, I'm on my own! Prinny has other familial obligations, being the Fourth of July and all, so he will not be joining me. So, let's get this party started!
RAW kicks off with a video recap from the previous week of the Main Event, Truth vs Cena. The video package shows Punk come out and screwing Cena out of the win and talking, then cuts to a black screen with static before the Opening Sequence shows up. Number One Contender’s Match is announced for tonight, Rey, Alberto, and Truth in a Triple Threat Match since Punk has been suspended. Then Cena comes out. As usual, he’s no selling the fact that he just got speared through a table! *palm* Cena goes on to say that Punk has been suspended because of his actions last week. Cena continues to say that WWE expects everyone to act as if Punk never existed and he doesn’t like it. Cena calls out Vince for answers. He ends by saying he wants to face Punk at Money In The Bank.
Cut to Eve and Kelly Kelly walking the halls backstage, on their way out for their match as the show cuts to commnercial.
Match #1 – Eve & Kelly Kelly vs The Bella Twins
RAW comes back from commercial with Koume and Kotake—I mean the Bella Twins coming out for their match. They show a video recap of what happened last week while the Bella Twins slut it up for the crowd in the ring. Then Kelly Kelly’s music hits as she and Eve come out. So we go from Koume and Kotake from Legend of Zelda to Ice and Gold from American Gladiators…. great.
The bell rings as Eve and one of the twins kicks it off. Eve takes control early and does some rump shake thing with her ass before hitting a standing Moonsault Splash. The other twin tries to intervene, but Eve cuts her off. The twin in the ring recouperates, tossing Eve out of the ring. Ref begins the count, but Eve gets back in as the Bella goes to work. Eventually the other twin is tagged in. She beats on Eve, but Even countes into a Short Irish Whip into the ropes, followed by a roll-up for one and a half. The Bella gets on the offensive, but Eve catches her in a Novacain. She then tags in Kelly Kelly who jumps the Bella with a Lou Thesz Press and beats her face in. She punches the other twin off the apron and sets up the legal one for a Stink Face, which she hits. She goes for a pin, but the other Bella breaks it up. Eve runs in and tosses the illegal Bella out. Kelly Kelly waits for the legal Bella to rise and drops her with a K2 for the pinfall victory.
Rating – 2/5
Marcus’ Opinions:
This match is about what you come to expect from the Divas. It’s nothing spectacular or impressive. It’s kinda disappointing, actually, that this is all they can bring to the ring. Or all that the WWE is allowing them to bring to the ring.
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RAW cuts to a video package promoting Andy, the winner of Tough Enough. Yeah whatever. Like anyone really cares about him. Then they cut to another guy that not a lot of people cares about, R-Truth. He’s on the phone and some random interviewer walks in and asks him about the call. He says he has good news and bad news. The Good news is that he saved 15% on his Car Insurance by switching to Geico. The bad news is that the Truth is going to hurt someone when he becomes #1 Contender tonight. He then says that someone is gonna get got. Then Alberto Del Rio shows up. I couldn’t really hear what Alberto said because he’s kinda soft, it’s kinda loud in my house with my fan going, and I was paying more attention to writing this recap. Anyway, it ends with Truth pissed off and Alberto smiling at him and winking. Cut to commercial.
Match #2 – Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov vs David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty
RAW comes back to Santino and Kozlov coming out for their match. Apparently they’re a formal team again as they are color coordinated, both wearing blue. CM Punk’s music hits as Otunga and McGillicutty come out for the match. I guess this is supposed to be them honoring their suspended leader? *shrug*
Bell rings as Otunga and Santino start it off. There are two tests of strength which Santino loses. Santino fakes a kick which gets Otunga backing off. This angers Otunga who knocks Santino on the mat. Santino counters a move from Otunga and tosses him into a nearby corner, setting up for the Cobra early and fast. Otunga slides out of the ring. Santino backs off as Otungs rolls back in and tags in McG. Santino goes to work on McG, pulling him to his corner and tagging in Kozlov. Kozlov owns McG for a minute, then tosses him back into their corner and tags in Santino. Santinto bends over as Kozlove tosses him into McG in the corner with an Assisted Shoulder Charge. Santino then tags Kozlov back in. Kozlov begins to work on McG who eventually gets a counter in. Otunga makes like he’s going to interfere, distracting Kozlov so McG can drop the big man by pulling his leg out from under him. McG tags in Otguna as they double team Kozlov with nothing special. Otunga goes to work on Kozlove for a minute before taking McG back in. They go for a Double Suplex, but Kozlove countes with a Double Suplex of his own. He then tags in Santino who tosses Otunga out of the ring. He then goes to work on McG, eventually landing a Standing Diving Headbutt. He then sets up for The Cobra again, but Otunga slides back in. Santino turns around and drops Otunga with The Cobra. As he turns around, McG catches Santino with, what I guess, is his finishing move, Running Knee To The Face Into A Swinging Neckbreaker. McG picks up the win.
As they celebrate, Zack Ryder’s music hits and he comes out with a mic, “Woo-WOO-woo… you know it!” Then he leaves. Ooooooook… right… Then RAW cuts to commercial.
Rating – 3/5
Marcus’ Opinions:
This match was nothing special. I give it points for making Santino look good (even though he lost). Once again David Otunga is worthless. And they downplay Kozlov. Also, I have no idea what’s up with Zack Ryder. I guess you have to be a loyal follower of WWE Supertars to get it? Maybe? I don’t know. As far as I’m concerned, that was completely random.
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Promo #1 – Miz Interview
RAW comes back to Miz being interviewed. The interviewer states that Miz has never defeated Alex Riley in singles competition and asks if Miz has a plan for tonight. Miz says that with CM Punk suspended, another opportunity to become #1 Contender for the title has come, but it’s passing him by, once again, because of Alex Riley. He goes on to say how he brought Alex Riley into the WWE and he’ll take him out of the WWE because he’s The Miz and he’s Awesome.
Rating – 4/5
Marcus’ Opinions:
I have to say, this was a good promo by The Miz. He looks angry and serious. And what he said actually makes sense… well… except the part about Alex Riley costing him another shot. Though, it’s kinda true. I mean, he can’t compete for it because he’s already booked for a match against Alex Riley at Money In The Bank. So, in a way, Miz is right this time. This time he can’t become #1 Contender because of Alex Riley.
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Promo #2 – Evan Bourne, Sgt. Slaughter, and Jack Swagger
RAW then cuts to a locker room where Evan Bourne and Sgt. Slaughter are talking. Interestingly enough, Sarge isn’t really getting a response from the crowd, at all. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Anyway, Evan starts off by saying that it’s the Fourth of July and they couldn’t luckier to have Sarge there tonight. Sarge responds by saying that he can’t think of a better night to go out there and lead the people in the Pledge of Allegiance like he used to do. Dear God, shoot me now. No offense to Sarge. Then Swagger steps in and interrupts by saying, “Oh please! Weren’t you around when this country GAINED its independence?” Ouch. Swagger 1, Sarge 0. He continues by saying he’s the one that should lead the people in the Pledge of Allegiance, “not some guy who sided with Iraq during the Gulf War.” Again, ouch. Swagger 2, Sarge 0. Sarge retorts by saying everyone makes mistakes, Evan makes mistakes, he makes mistakes, and Swagger’s parents made a mistake when they didn’t use birth control. *cringes* Burn. Swagger 2, Sarge 1. Oh and an extra cool point from me for spitting in Swagger’s face. Swagger responds by challenging Sarge to a match. Sarge replies with, “You’re on… Maggot!” Swagger leaves as Sarge calls him “The All American Puke!”
Rating – 3/5
Marcus’ Opinions:
This wasn’t a bad bit. It was just… unnecessary. Swagger isn’t interesting. He’s never been interesting. Bourne… isn’t interesting either, unfortunately. He’s a lot of fun to watch in the ring though. Sarge… is old. All this bit did for me was set up the next match, if you can call it that. Also, the fact that the crowd seemed to be disinterested, at best, really made the bit almost fail, in my opinion. When you bring in a Fan Favorite Hall Of Famer and the crowd goes “Meh,” you really have to rethink your strategy.
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Match #3 – Jack Swagger vs Sgt. Slaughter
RAW comes back from commercial with a video package promoting Jack Swagger winning the Money In The Bank and going on to become World Heavyweight Champion. Then Jack Swagger comes out for his match. Sgt. Slaughter’s Music hits as he walks out carrying an American Flag and…. there’s the ovation! And the U-S-A chant!
Slaughter takes his shades and hat off as he locks up with Swagger. Swagger wins and goes to work on Sarge. Swager backs him into a corner and tries to punch him, but Sarge blocks, punching his way out of the corner and Swagger right into the opposite corner. Swagger battles out, forcing Srage back to the opposite corner, but Sarge dodges and attack and locks in the Cobra Clutch! Swagger tries to fight out, but can’t. He finally gets Sarge to release the hold and drops him. Swagger hits a Second Rope Body Splash and picks up the pinfall win. During celebration, Swagger locks in the Ankle Lock on Sarge. Evan Bourne runs out for the save, literally kicking the crap out of Swagger, kicking him to the outside. Bourne’s music hits as he pulls Sarge up and grabs a mic and Swagger… leaves? Wha?
Sarge takes the mic and recites the Pledge of Allegiance. Joy… RAW cuts to commercial.
Rating – 2/5
Marcus’ Opinions:
Number One, Sarge loses on the Independece Day RAW. Number Two, Sarge loses to Swagger. Number Three, Sarge gets f**k**g owned by Swagger, as in Squash Match. Yeah… fuck you WWE. Oh and then the Pledge? Really? *palm* The only good things about this were Sgt. Slaughter himself and Evan Bourne. I mean, who doesn’t like to see Sarge? And Evan Bourne is always awesome.
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Match #4 – Alberto Del Rio vs R-Truth vs Rey Mysterio for #1 Contendership for WWE Title
RAW comes back to a recap from last week’s RAW of Big Show vs Alberto Del Rio in a Steel Cage. Then it cuts to Del Rio already in the ring. Well we know who’s NOT going to become #1 Contender. Truth comes out, once again, to nothing. Seriously WWE, get this guy some music! *palm* Then finaly Rey’s music hits and he comes out.
Del Rio goes after Truth as Rey watches. He beats Truth into a corner and onto his ass before Rey grabs him and starts beating on him. Rey drops Del Rio, then goes to work on Truth, keeping him on his ass. Del Rio grabs Rey as he’s turning around and starts beating on him. Rey breaks out and bounces off the ropes, but Del Rio lands a Front Dropkick, dropping Rey. Truth tries to get out of the corner, but Del Rio plants him against the ring post. Del Rio runs at Rey, trying to a Running Dropkick, but Rey dodges as Del Rio goes sliding out of the ring between the top and second ropes. Truth back in the ring as Rey kicks Del Rio, keeping him from getting back in the ring. Rey then backs against the far ropes and goes for a running attack, but Truth blindsides him with a Spinning Elbow Drop. Truth with the pin and a kickout at 2! Truth goes on the offensive, kicking Rey out of the ring and slamming him into the barricade. He then turns to Del Rio and beats on a him to keep him down. Then goes back to Rey, slams him into the ring and tosses him back in the ring, going for a pin and getting another 2. He then picks Rey up and beats him into a corner before tossing him with a Hard Irish Whip into the opposite corner. Rey bounces off as Truth catches him and rolls him up for yet another 2. With “Angry Black Man” face on, Truth goes back to work on Rey. He then notices Del Rio getting up outside the ring and climbs out to the apron. He then jumps at Del Rio, landing a Body Splash, smashing Del Rio into the barricade.
He gets back in the ring, but Rey catches him coming in. However, Truth stops Rey’s offense and drops the little big man again, going for yet another pin and getting a 2. Del Rio gets back in the ring and takes out Truth before Rey goes to work on him. Rey catches Del Rio with a Hurricanrana, dropping Del Rio on the back of his neck. Truth catches Rey with an attack and puts him on the top rope. Del Rio gets back in the ring as Truth gets on the turnbuckle, getting ready to beat on Rey. Alberto cracks Truth across the back and puts him up on his shoulders. Sitting up there, Truth begins to beat on Del Rio’s head, but Rey recovers and jumps at Truth, hitting him with a Top Rope Splash, sending all three men to the mat as the show goes to commercial.
RAW comes back with Del Rio pushing Rey into the ropes, then slamming his face into the ring post. Del Rio stays on Rey eventually Irish Whipping him into the ropes. Rey counters with a kick to the face, but Del Rio counters Rey’s follow up charge with a Tilt-A-Whirle Backbreaker. Del Rio Irish Whips Rey into a corner and goes for a follow up, but Rey counters with a Drop Toe Hold, sending Del Rio face first into the corner. And that look like it hurt. Rey turns his attention to Truth, picking him up on the ring apron. Rey begins to beat on Truth, but Del Rio gets back up and hits Rey across the back. He hits Rey a few times and holds him as Truth vault-flips over the top rope, landing a Sunset Flip Powerbomb of sorts on Del Rio, rolling him up for two. He then goes to work on Rey, laying him out before Del Rio grabs Truth. Truth goes for a move, but Del Rio ducks it, hitting a Back-Cracker on Truth! Pin for 2! Del Rio goes to work on Rey, but Truth gets back into it and they go at it while Rey is still on the mat. Truth comes out on top and goes back to work on Rey, hitting him with a Lie Detector. Pin for 2! Del Rio goes for a Running Shoulder Tackle on Truth, but Truth ducks out of the way as Del Rio goes shoulder-first into the ring post. Rey catches Truth as he’s turning around, and drops him into place for the 619! He then hits the Torpedo Splash! Goes for the pin! But Del Rio is back in the ring and locks in the Cross Armbreaker! Del Rio Wins! RAW cuts to commercial.
Rating – 5/5
Marcus’ Opinions:
Most definitely match of the night. These three superstars are just awesome. And, again, WWE with the surprise win for the guy who started already in the ring. Usually the competitor who starts in the ring doesn’t win the match. But this is the second time, so far, that they have. Very interesting indeed.
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RAW comes back from commercial to another Money In The Bank Vignette. This one showing Jericho, Shelton Benjamin, and Kane. Ending with Edge winning and becoming WWE Champion.
Promo #3 – Dolph Ziggler, Vicki Guerrero, and Kofi Kingston
Then the shot shifts to the ring where the mat is covered in red and there’s a long table on it with a cake and everything to celebrate 4th of July. Then Dolph Ziggler’s music hits and he comes out with Vicki Guerrero. Dolph in a white suit and Vicki in a tank-top and jeans. Vicki gets on the mic… *shudders* and starts with, of course, “EXCUSE ME!” She goes on to say that they’re celebrating the birthday of the United States with the United States Champion. She then attempts to get everyone to stand up, but nobody will. So she gives up and begins singing Happy Birthday to Dolph, supposedly, in a sultry voice. *puke* Apparently it’s Dolph’s Birthday too. The fans effectively boo her out of the ring, but they don’t leave. She asks Dolph if he would like to blow out the candles and make a wish. Dolph then gets on the mic and says he doesn’t have a wish, but has things he wants to say. He says the people are viewing the greatest entertainer in the WWE in his prime. He goes on to tell the people to forget about everyone else and that as long as he’s the United States Champion, this is the only title that matters and he is all they need to make RAW special. Then Kofi’s music hits and Kofi comes out. Kofi gets on the mic and asks what’s up with the party and not inviting him. He then goes on to say that Dolph cannot beat him. Dolph replies that he has surpassed Kofi then tells him to leave. Kofi pushes Dolph who backs into Vicki, causing her to sit on the cake. Dolph attacks Kofi who retaliates. They go out of the ring, then back in. Then Kofi kicks Dolph into Vicki who was facing the cake and she faceplants in the cake. Dolph runs to the back with Kofi in hot pursuit. Vicki eventually leaves the ring as RAW cuts to commercial.
Rating – 3/5
Marcus’ Opinions:
It was funny and furthers the feud between Kofi and Dolph, but on the whole, unnecessary. The good points here are Vicki getting shoved into the cake TWICE and Kofi shutting Dolph up. Oh, and I know I’m probably going to get hate mail for this, but Vicki from the neck down… wow. She’s definitely been working out. All she needs is a face-lift and dental surgery and she’ll be on par with a lot of the Divas.
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RAW comes back to its third Money In The Bank Vignette. This time it’s last year’s MiTB with Orton, Edge, Miz, and others. This one ends with Miz winning and becoming WWE Champion.
Match #5 – The Miz vs Alex Riley
Then Miz comes out for his match. Then Alex Riley comes out. Riley wastes no time in going after Miz, but the Ref holds him back. Riley smiles and continues to stare at Miz, making like he’s going to charge as the show cuts to a video package of Alex Riley snapping and beating the crap out of Miz. The show cuts back to the ring where the match finally gets under way.
Riley throws Miz into a corner and begins to beat on him. Ref begins the count, forcing Riley to stop. Miz takes advantage, lunging at Riley. But Riley relatiates, eventually ending with a Clothesline, turning Miz inside out. He then tosses Miz outside the ring and bashes him against the barricade before tossing him back in the ring. Miz catches Riley getting back in the ring and, literally, kicks his teeth in, keeping Riley grounded. Eventually he picks Riley up, holding him in a Headlock. Miz keeps that Headlock locked for a while until Riley counters out, tossing Miz. Miz retaliates by tossing Riley into a nearby corner. Riley bounces off as Miz catches him in a DDT and goes for the pin, getting a 2. Miz continues to work on Riley, keeping him grounded. He sizes Riley up and waits for him to rise before bouncing off the ropes and catching Riley across the face with a Knee Strike, going for another pin and getting another 2. Miz waits for Riley to get up and goes to beat on him, but Riley fights out, punching Miz a couple times. However, Miz maintains control and drops Riley like a ton of bricks. He then watches Riley, enjoying the pain he’s dishing out. He waits for Riley to get up and goes to grab him, but Riley fights out, punching him again and sending him into a nearby corner. Riley backs up and goes a charge, but Miz blocks it, dropping riley with a Neckbreaker and going for, yet, another pin and only getting a 2 as RAW cuts to commercial.
RAW comes back to Miz having Riley in a Headlock. Miz releases the Headlock and gets ready for another move, but Riley counters with a knee to Miz’s face. Both men down. Bothe men to their feet. Riley lunges at Miz, taking him down. He then gets up as Miz charges and he ducks. Miz charges again, and Riley ducks again, catching Miz in a Spinebuster. Riley goes for a Suplex, but Miz counters with a Back Body Drop. Riley into the corner as Miz runs at him and hits his signature Turnbuckle Clothesline. He then grabs Riley from the back and hits him with a Reverse DDT Backbreaker and goes for the Neckbreaker ender to it, but Riley counters into a Backslider Pin for the three!
Miz leaves the ring in shock, but gets angry and slides back in, taking Riley down and beating on him. He then tosses Riley out of the ring and runs him into the barricade before tossing over it. Miz followis and runs him into the back side of the barricade before bending him over it and getting in his face. He then tosses Riley back over the barricade toward the ring, destroying a piece of the barricade with him. He picks Riley up and tosses him into some Ring Steps. The Ref “tries” to stop Miz, but doesn’t and backs off as Miz gets on top of Riley and yells at him. Miz looks saddened and pissed off as he picks Riley up and slams his face into the Announcer’s Table. He picks Riley back up and starts yelling at him again before releasing him. He seems to contemplating something for a moment, then runs at Riley and kicks him over the Announcer’s Table. The Ref tells Miz to leave. And he does. Slowly.
Rating – 5/5
Marcus’ Opinions:
That was actually a great match. Both men were quite athletic and a lot of fun to watch. And Miz snapping at the end was well-played. For this, I have to give kudos. Also, I have to give big kudos to Alex Riley for actually selling everything and selling it well. John Cena, I hope you’re taking notes.
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Scene shifts to a limo outside. Vince gets out of the limo as RAW cuts to commercial.
Promo #6 – Vince McMahon and John Cena
RAW comes back from commercial to King and Cole. They talk about Punk, last week’s RAW, and Twitter before cutting to footage from last week’s RAW. It’s essentially the same package that aired at the top of the show. Then it cuts back to ringside where Vince McMahon comes out. He gets on the mic and proceeds to say that Punk deserved the suspension. He goes on to say that it’s not about his family or his ego, but it’s about doing what’s right for the fans. He says that Punk contract is, in fact, almost over. He says that Punk wanted to be on the Magazine Covers and stuff, including DVDs, but he wasn’t on the DVDs because he didn’t deserve to be. He goes on to say that Punk is just that, a Punk. That he says that Punk deserved the suspension then says goodnight and prepares to leave. But Cena’s music hits as he gets in the ring and on the mic. Cena is clearly pissed. He says, “That’s it?” He makes fun of Vince’s strut and says he always thought Vince was a fighter. He asks what happened to Vince The Fighter? Has Vince finally gone soft? He then says he wants to fight CM Punk at Money In The Bank. Vince stares at Cena for a while before responding. He says he doesn’t want to take a chance on Punk beating Cena and leaving with the WWE Title. He says he would be embarrassed if Punk leaves with the title and goes to another company with it. Cena calls him out being embarrassed. He says Punk earned the shot against him and he wants to fight Punk. He goes on to say that the match at Money In The Bank sounds like Match of the Year to him, but Vince won’t let it happen because Punk said something that got under his skin. He then says what happens if Cena himself were to do the same thing and Vince suspended him? The fans clearly want the match and Cena says that Vince should give the people what they want instead of being afraid. Vince goes on to say that WWE is his company and that he’s not willing to jeopardize it. He says what he does is for the best of the company and the people. Cena goes on to say that this isn’t what he signed up for and gives Vince the WWE Title back before leaving the ring and walking up the ramp. Vince stops him by yelling at him. He gets out of the ring and walks up the ramp with the title to get in Cena’s face. He promptly re-instates CM Punk and gives Cena the match. He then threatens to fire John Cena if he loses, then gives him the belt back and leaves as the crowd boos.
Rating – 5/5
Marcus’ Opinions:
This was great. John Cena completely sells it… for once. From his facial expressions to the tone of his voice, he sells every emotion he was trying to sell. And Vince does an admirable job selling his side as well. This bit just proves that Cena is gold on the mic and coal in the ring. Seriously. I’m probably going to get a lot of hate mail for this, like with the Vicki comment above, but Cena can’t wrestle. He used to be decent in the ring, when he was the Doctor of Thuganomics. But now that he’s “The Hero to Kids Everywhere,” he can’t wrestle worth a damn. His matches are all the same formula. Well when he wins anyway. It’s like because “The Hero,” he can’t ever really lose. And when he does lose a match, he completely no sells it the next week. For those of you who are old enough, remember The Hardy Boyz? Matt and Jeff went in there week and week out and when they got injured, they sold the shit out of it the following week. Cena… not on your life. He’s SuperCena. That’s his image. To be limping for the whole show or grabbing his side the whole show would be ruining his image. And my only response is to sigh and roll my eyes. If John Cena really wants to know why half (or probably more) of the WWE Universe chants “CENA SUCKS!”, that’s why. But you give him a mic and he can sell anything. Hell he could sell you your own Mom if you asked him to. He’s THAT good on the mic. He’s definitely this generation’s “The Rock.” And this bit proves it beyond a shadow of a doubt. This is probably the best promo I’ve seen in a long time and only Cena would have been able to deliver it.
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Overall Show Rating – 3/5
Marcus’ Opinions:
Despite all the good points of the show, including two matches that I gave a five out of five rating to and the few promos I gave good marks to, this show kinda sucked. The low points were REALLY low and just brought the whole show down. The first half of the show was boring, uninteresting, and unnecessary. The second half of the show is where things got interesting. They put on great matches and great promos. The Miz is slowly winning me over. Believe it or not, I actually liked him in this show. He was actually really good. Both his promo and his match were excellent. THIS is how you use The Miz! This feud is going to skyrocket both The Miz’s and Alex Riley’s careers. And, of course, Cena plus mic equals epic win. I’ll end by saying the same thing Spoony and The Cinema Snob (go to www.thatguywiththeglasses.com to see their work) said about Transformers 3: “Come in during the second half and it was great.”