Post by James Phoenix on May 16, 2011 23:23:09 GMT -5
May 16th, 2011
Hello everyone and welcome to the first X-Pound edition of the Raw Recap! I’m James Phoenix and tonight RAW is live from San Antonio, Texas! We’re just 6 days away from Over the Limit (which isn’t a gimmick PPV thank god) so let’s see how they try to build it up!
The show opens with John Cena coming to the ring and the crowd going nuts. Before he can say a word however, Alex Riley interrupts without any music. He basically tells Cena to shut up and then runs off a fairly accurate summary of every John Cena promo that he’s done as champion. Riley then cues up an awesome (no pun intended) video package featuring The Miz assaulting John Cena various times over the last year. The video package guys at WWE really need a raise; they do a great job week in and week out.
As the package ends on Cena’s angry face, Riley introduces The Miz, and of course as such Michael Cole has to immediately begin verbally sucking his cock until Lawler tells him to shut up. Riley and Miz come to the ring and Riley continues speaking on the Miz’s behalf, talking about how the people never believed in The Miz over the years. He then grabs some cheap heat by insulting the Spurs. He tries to continue but is interrupted with a You Suck chant. Good crowd tonight. Riley says that Miz will prove the fans wrong again at Over the Limit and that he will never utter the words I Quit.
Cena tells Riley that he’s as stupid as he is useless. That was good. He then goes off on a promo about things Miz would never say including passing up Jonas Brothers tickets, playing with My Little Pony, or that he has testicles. Ah, gotta love the PG insults….if PG stands for playground. Cena says he acknowledges what Miz has done but that there is a reason he chose an I Quit match. He says he chose it is because when he looks past Miz’s fancy suits and cheap bravado he can see fear in his eyes. Cena says he has been in these matches before and that he sees in Miz eyes that he is scared and worried about getting hurt. He tells him that after Over the Limit he will be saying He’s the Miz and He Quit.
Michael Cole’s Anonymous boyfriend chimes in on Cole’s iPad and says that since he allowed Cena to pick the match at Over the Limit, it’s only fair that Miz choose Cena’s opponent tonight and the type of match in which they will compete. The Miz says he doesn’t know either of those things yet but there is one thing for sure….it’s gunna be Awesome!
[COMMERCIAL BREAK #1]
We come back from the commercial to Kofi Kingston’s entrance and Lawler and Cole still bickering like an old married couple. CM Punk joins him a moment later. This should actually be a good match if they get more then 5 minutes. Punk is accompanied by the New Nexus and Cole cues up footage of last week when The Nexus got their asses kicked by Kane and Big Show.
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MATCH #1 – Kofi Kingston vs. C.M. Punk
Kofi starts off with some great jumps and athleticism, knocking Punk from the ring. Nexus starts to walk down the ramp but Punk holds them back. Kofi comes out, kicks Punk, throws him back in, and gets a near fall. Punk takes control back and gets a near fall of his own.
The commentators do a good job of talking up how the members of the Nexus believe in and follow Punk, and that he is leading by example. Punk slows the match down with some headlocks and ground holds. He goes up to the top but Kofi hits an amazing kick to the face from the mat to Punk on the top. Punk falls and Kofi goes up and connects with a big high cross body to score a near fall. Kofi slams Punk and nails the Big Boom Leg Drop. He goes for the Trouble in Paradise but Punk avoids it and tries a GTS. Kofi reverses and goes for a roll up but Punk kicks out. Kofi goes to the top but Punk knocks him down very awkwardly, connects with a GTS, and it’s over.
Winner: C.M. Punk
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Post match Punk gets a microphone and sits in front of his men on the stage. He says that what we just saw was leadership by example. He says he’s heard rumors that Nexus isn’t formidable, but that he is dong things his way now and that he won’t stop until the Nexus both individually and collectively is the most dominant force the WWE has ever seen.
Cole then announces that he and Lawler will be signing the contract for their match at Over the Limit tonight, and says he has plenty in store. WWE, for the love of God end this story at the PPV. It’s getting old and we’re tired of it. Make Sir Michael Cole a heel manager and let him bring some young heels up the roster.
We see The Miz talking to Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero backstage, which the commentators point out might be at attempt to recruit him to face Cena tonight.
[COMMERCIAL BREAK #2]
We come back to the WWE Slam of the Week which features Kharma demolishing Eve last week while stalking Kelly Kelly.
As we return Cole talks about being eye to eye with Kharma on SmackDown and being scared shitless as Kelly comes to the ring. Lawler goes into a bit of his old self and starts drooling over Kelly and for a minute I thought we were going to hear about the PUPPIES! Ah well, PG rating, what’re gonna do?
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MATCH #2: Kelly Kelly vs. Brie Bella
Well, it’s time for the bathroom bre…I mean Diva’s match. Nikki Bella is ringside of course to support Brie. John Matthews is the only commentator who seems to care about the match as Lawler and Cole would rather snipe at each other.
The match itself isn’t half bad with Brie and Kelly hitting some decent moves, but with the end coming in a short few minutes. Kelly scores an unorthodox rollup and wins the match, only to be double teamed by the Bellas.
Winner: Kelly Kelly
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Kharma’s laugh/music hits and she makes her way to the ring. Of course being idiots, the Bellas just cower in the ring holding each other instead of getting the hell out of there. One of them actually tries to attack her but it has no effect. Kharma throws her aside, lifts the other, and body slams her. She then picks her up again and nails the yet-to-be-named-in-WWE Implant Buster. The other Bella heads up the ramp and gets the hell out of dodge as Kharma turns to Kelly in the other corner. She lifts her with one hand, flips her hair back, and then flicks her in the forehead, reminiscent of the dolls from her pre-debut vignettes.
We cut backstage where we see Miz talking to the Big Show, the same way he was talking to Dolph Ziggler earlier, as WWE tries (and fails) to build anticipation for Cena’s mystery opponent tonight. Being that this is WWE and they never give anyone a push, money says the opponent is Alberto Del Rio.
[COMMERCIAL BREAK #3]
We return from the commercial to a promo for Randy Orton’s new movie, That’s What I Am. You can catch it tomorrow in WalMart’s bargain bin next to Knucklehead and The Chaperone. Give up on the movies WWE. Unless you put Santino in a comedy, no one wants to see WWE superstars in films.
Rey Mysterio comes to the ring as we see footage of his being assaulted by “Angry Black Man” R-Truth last week. Rey gets a microphone and greets the San Antonio crowd and tells us that he came out to speak the Truth. He talks about last week and says that he knows how it feels to be passed over, but that he never lost it like that. He says that unlike R-Truth, he doesn’t go nuts and assault people. He says he prefers to handle his business as a man, and calls out R-Truth, saying he’ll show him why he didn’t deserve to be in the main event last week, and doesn’t deserve to be in any main event at all….and that’s The Truth. Nice dig at Truth there. I have to say I like this as a feud. We’ll wait and see how WWE manages to screw it up. They wait for R-Truth to make himself known as we go to commercial.
[COMMERCIAL BREAK #4]
We come back to Rey Mysterio still waiting for R-Truth but instead he gets Alberto Del Rio…..but you already knew that ;-).
He has a mic in hand and announces his name before calling Rey Mysterio a little Chihuahua and blaming him for costing him his shot at the WWE Title. He says Mysterio doesn’t deserve to be on the same show as him because he is full blood Mexican as opposed to Rey the San Antonio crowd. They go back and forth in Spanish for a minute, and Mysterio says he’s proud to be a Chicano and an American. He says if R-Truth isn’t going to come out, he has no problem fighting Del Rio instead.
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MATCH #3: Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio
The match starts with some quick moves from Rey who ends up on the top rope. Del Rio stops him and arm drags him to the ground, doing some damage to Mysterio’s arm as we go to commercial.
[COMMERCIAL BREAK #5]
We return with Del Rio working on Mysterio’s arm and shoulder. Mysterio comes back with some high flying maneuvers but Del Rio counters and gets a near fall. Del Rio gets another near fall before assaulting him in the corner, using the rope to weaken his arm further. He attacks the arm in the ring, and scores a near fall. These guys are doing a great job telling a story in the ring, with Del Rio working on the arm in preparation for the Cross Arm breaker. Mysterio gets to his feet and flips free but Del Rio kicks him in the face and scores a near fall. Del Rio tries to rip Mysterio’s mask off but fails to do so.
Del Rio hits a running slide kick and scores a near fall before going back to the arm. Mysterio fights free with some elbows and flips Del Rio across the ring before hitting a shot to the face, and then moving out of the way sending Del Rio through the ropes out of the ring.
Suddenly, R-Truth appears on the stairs in the crowd and starts screaming that Rey Mysterio is a thief and that someone should call the cops. He says Mysterio stole his spot as the #1Contender. Del Rio tries to capitalize but fails, with Mysterio instead hitting a side slam and getting a near fall. Mysterio hurricarana’s Del Rio onto the ropes and goes for the 619 but Ricardo Rodriguez interferes and the ref calls for a DQ.
Winner: Rey Mysterio (By DQ)
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Del Rio assaults Mysterio some more before leaving. Rey tries to get up when Truth comes out of the crowd and attacks Mysterio from behind. He screams at him about taking his spot, and then hits his new finisher as the crowd boos the hell out of him. I really like Truth’s heel character, and clearly the crowd does too. I think he can really go places in this persona, and I hope WWE lets him.
Truth gets a mic and asks Rey what he’s doing and who he thinks he is. He says that no one challenges The Truth, and that he makes the challenges. He says he showed Rey tonight and that on Sunday “You Goin’ Get Got!” He kicks Rey in the head again and leaves him in a heap in the ring. So I guess they have a match at Over the Limit now. Good to know.
We cut to the back and see Miz talking to Punk and Mason Ryan, again to build suspense. Lawler announces that the contract signing between himself and Cole is next.
[COMMERCIAL BREAK #6]
When we come back, Cole and Lawler are in the ring, with Jack Swagger behind Cole. Cole sits on a chair with his feet on the table and talks about how Lawler couldn’t leave well enough alone. He says he won’t sign the contract until Lawler re-iterates what he said last week when he made the challenge. Lawler does so, saying he will give Cole his Hall of Fame ring and personally induct him into the Hall of Fame if Cole wins. Cole then signs the contract as does Lawler.
Cole insults the crowd and then says that Lawler didn’t read the contract and says that the match on Sunday will be a Kiss my Foot match. He says that he will make Lawler do what he made JR do a few weeks ago, and then cues up the footage of Swagger making J.R. kiss his feet in the U.K.
Cole laughs his ass off and says that JR is the first man to have kissed both Mr. McMahon’s ass and his foot. Cole then says he made this match a Kiss my Foot match because Lawler has experience in this kind of match. He cues up footage of King of the Ring 1995 when Lawler lost a Kiss my Foot match to Bret “The Hitman” Hart. Cole puts his nasty athlete’s foot on the table and says he’s going to shove his foot right down Lawler’s throat.
Lawler tells him to shut up and points out that that was Bret “The Hitman” Hart, which Cole certainly is not. He then says that Cole isn’t even a Jack Swagger, and remarks that Swagger is a former World Champion, but Cole turned him into nothing more then a sidekick. Cole says that no one even remembers Swagger being a champion, which Swagger takes offense to. He then screams at Cole out of microphone range, wishes him good luck on Sunday, and leaves. Cole immediately realizes he’s screwed and begins trying to tell Lawler it was all a joke and that they are friends, having known each other for 14 years. King tells Cole to stuff it and pulls him down on the table. He says that he has been sticking his own foot in his mouth for years, but on Sunday, King is going to stick HIS foot in his mouth, and close it.
We see Miz in the back talking to Kane, as Big Show walks up, gives him his tag title, and they leave.
[COMMERCIAL BREAK #7]
When we return, Lawler and Matthews rag on an angry looking Cole as Big Show and Kane come to the ring. Cole announces that on Sunday, Big Show and Kane will defend their WWE Tag Titles against Punk and Mason Ryan at Over the Limit. All of The Nexus comes to the ring as Michael McGillicuddy and David Otunga start the match.
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MATCH #4: Big Show & Kane vs. Michael McGillicuddy & David Otunga
Kane and MM start off, with MM using some impressive athleticism before Kane takes control with some power moves. Kane drops an elbow and scores a near fall before tagging in Show. Show hits some chops to the chest and knocks MM to the corner before he reverses. Show picks MM up but he slides free and attacks Show’s legs. He gets knocked to the corner and Otunga tags himself in and goes after Show, knocking him down. MM gets tagged back in and scores a near fall as he tags Otunga back in. They continue making frequent tags in and out, attacking Big Show’s legs to keep him down.
Show counters using his leg to slam MM to the canvas but he tags in Otunga. Show manages to grab Otunga by the throat and get up, but he reverses. Show then lifts him and hits a back body drop. Otunga tries to hold Show back but he gets the tag to Kane. Kane cleans house and scores a near fall on Otunga before going to the top. He hits the flying clothesline. He knocks Otunga from the ring as Mason Ryan tries to get involved. Show pulls him out though and tackles him into the ground. Kane grabs Otunga and goes for a chokeslam but Punk hits him behind the ref’s back, allowing them to capitalize, roll Kane up, and pick up the win.
Winners: The New Nexus
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We see The Miz talking to R-Truth in the back as we go to commercial. Time check is 10:36pm EST meaning that’s probably the last promo for Miz’s choice to face Cena. If I know the WWE, it won’t be anyone Miz has spoken to in any of these promos and thus they were a waste of time. Way to go WWE. As my Del Rio prediction from earlier was clearly wrong since he already competed tonight, I’m just going to wait and see who it is.
[COMMERCIAL BREAK #8]
I just have to say here that TNA, or should I say IMPACT Wrestling must really have some balls, because they had several commercials for their show during Tough Enough earlier, and had one during RAW just now. Not that WWE cares mind you, but you would think WWE would ask USA not to allow that. Ah well.
We return to Lawler and Matthews laughing about what’s going to happen to Cole on Sunday, using it as a segway to run down the match list for Over the Limit. It’s a solid card for once.
Scott Sanford interviews Big Show and Kane in the back and asks how their loss tonight affects their chances on Sunday. Both men talk about how Nexus had a good match tonight, but that on Sunday it won’t be Punk’s or Nexus’ salvation, but their annihilation.
We cut to Cena walking to the ring, when he stops and…is handed a t-shirt by Zack Ryder?!? WOO WOO WOO! You Know It! I’m hoping WWE finally realized they have a goldmine on their hands if they actually put this man on TV and push him. Hell if he can get over enough to get fans to bring signs when he isn’t on TV, imagine what he can do if given a chance! I look forward to seeing it.
[COMMERCIAL BREAK #9]
We return to see the WWE Rewind which features John Cena’s match against Alex Riley last week. Miz comes out and announces that tonight’s Main Event will be a No Holds Barred match. He then tells Cena to get out here, which cues Cena’s entrance. He hesitates as he walks between Miz and Riley and watches them, when Jack Swagger blindsides him from behind and starts assaulting him on the ramp.
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MATCH #5: John Cena vs. Jack Swagger
He drags him down the ramp and throws him in the ring. He stomps Cena in the corner and steps off as Cena comes back. He throws Swagger into the corner but is hit with al elbow. Swagger takes control back and knocks Cena to the ground, before he pulls himself up on Swagger, who hits a vertical suplex.
The crowd lights up with loud alternating chants of “Let’s Go Cena” and “Cena Sucks!” San Antonio is a great crowd tonight as they usually are. Not on the level of NYC, Chicago, or Philly mind you, but still good.
[COMMERCIAL BREAK #10]
We return with Swagger holding Cena in a headlock. We see a replay of Cena and Swagger fighting outside the ring during the break, using the announce table and GM computer as weapons. They leave the ring again, as Swagger kicks Cena and throws him ribs first into the fan barricade which he exposed during the break. He throws Cena back in and scores a near fall. Swagger grabs a chair, levels Cena, and scores a near fall. He shows his frustration before placing the chair on top of him and doing a back springboard off the second rope onto the chair and Cena for a near fall.
Swagger then sets the chair up horizontally between the top and second ropes before picking Cena up. Cena fights up and begins his usual routine before Swagger lifts him, drops him head first onto the mat, and scores a near fall. He then locks in the ankle lock on Cena but Cena fights out and flips Swagger aside. Swagger goes for Cena, but he dodges and Swagger goes head first into the chair he set up earlier.
As they get up, Cena starts picking up the pace with the shoulder blocks, side slam, and 5 Knuckle Shuffle. He connects with the Attitude Adjustment while looking at Miz, before locking in the STF and making Swagger tap out.
Winner: John Cena
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The Miz politely claps as Cena wins, and he comments on how impressive the victory was. He says he wants Cena to cherish this feeling of victory because on Sunday he’s going to feel loss, despair, etc. He says there are many ways of making a human being say I Quit. He says he could throw Cena off the stage into the concrete or smash his head in between the side of the stage and the camera (which Riley demonstrates). He then walks down the ring and says he could smash Cena’s head repeatedly into the steel stairs until he couldn’t stand. He says he could go under the ring, and then tells Riley to go find something useful. He pulls a pipe from under the ring and Miz says he could use that too. He says that those are obvious though and that there are a million other ways he could do it, ways Cena hasn’t even thought about and adds that he found a way Cena has never even seen before, and guarantees Cena and everyone that after their match, he will be declared the new WWE Champion.
Cena gives him a strange look, and says that he looks like he doesn’t believe a word he’s saying. Miz says he won’t be using the pipe on Sunday…but has no problem using it tonight. Cena knocks Riley aside but Miz hits him with the pipe. SuperCena comes back though, takes the pipe, and assaults Miz with it until he leaves and heads up the ramp. Cena says that if Miz has a million ways to beat him he better bring them all and a million more because on Sunday, The Miz will say I Quit.
JAMES’ THOUGHTS
Overall this was a pretty good show. There were 5 matches, three of which got a halfway decent amount of time, at least for RAW and they were athletic. The Diva’s match was a joke, but that’s nothing new, however I like how they are booking Kharma. It’s obvious that they are building up some kind of rivalry between her and Kelly, which is fine as long as Kelly ends up destroyed.
They promoted the PPV pretty heavily, as well as announced two new matchs and the stipulation for another. I really wish they wouldn’t do things like that the last week before a PPV because it leaves no time to promote those matches and thus the entire card suffers. This comes down to WWE having too many PPV’s each year. If they could cut it down to 8 or so PPV events a year, I think they could do better. Either that, or at the very least make the PPV’s brand specific again so that there is some variety in the events. It would also allow multiple months between PPV’s to allow for time to build storylines.
The card for Over the Limit actually looks decent for once, though I doubt anything major is going to happen there except possibly a tag team title change to The Nexus. Either way, they did an ok job of booking Raw tonight and so I give it a score of 6 out of 10.
I’m James Phoenix, telling you to tune in Friday for the Smackdown Rebound, right here in the X-Pound!