Post by Marcus Shadow on Jun 7, 2011 1:50:37 GMT -5
With Marcus Shadow and PrinnyJ
WWE flawlessly and smoothly transition from the Tough Enough Finale to Monday Night RAW by having Vince say to the crowd through the mic, “I’m being told that it’s now 9:00 so that means this is the official start to Monday Night RAW!” Vince and Austin are in the ring with the two TE finalists. Vince is about to announce the winner when Austin stops him and says that TE is his show and that he’ll be the one announcing the winner. Vince agrees and Austin stands there, eyeing the two competitors. After a while, Vince cuts in and says that if he were running this, he’d ask for a drum roll. Austin looks at him and says, “You’re a stupid sumbitch, but that’s actually a good idea. Can I get a drumroll please?” Cue drumroll and Austin announcing the winner of TE, Andy. Vince welcomes Andy to WWE and bitch slaps him. Austin helps him up and yells at Vince before announcing Andy as the winner, once again… then Stuns him. Andy leaves as Vince and Austin celebrate. Truth’s music hits, interrupting Stone Cold and Vince celebrating after announcing the winner of Tough Enough. At first, I thought he did have music, but…
Marcus: Wow… Truth really wants to get Stunned, doesn’t he?
Truth comes out to “The Ants Go Marching In,” but singing “Little Jimmy comes marching in.” It looks like he’s wearing a Confederate Army Civil War Uniform.
Marcus and Prinny: *jaws drop*
Prinny: It’s finally happened. He’s lost it. *watches a moment longer* Hey! He’s singing and dancing like he used to!
Truth “apologizes” and Stone Cold calls him a jackass. Truth talks about a conspiracy within the WWE and that, like the South, he wants to secede from the WWE, but will wants to be WWE Champion. Miz interrupts.
Marcus: God…
Prinny: Where the Hell does he get those suits? It’s like he wants to be Ric Flair REALLY badly!
Miz goes on about how he should still be the WWE Champion and that when he was, he was the most ‘must see’ champion ever.
Marcus: Wow…
Prinny: What truck did Miz bring his balls in to say that to Stone Cold’s face?!
Miz is interrupted by Alex Riley. Riley says, “The only thing you deserve is a third straight week of beatdowns!” Then he’s interrupted by Cena. Cena goes one-by-one and says stuff about each person, then says that since Truth ‘apologized,’ he gets his match at Capitol Punishment. The Anonymous RAW GM chimes in, but Vince says, in his angry Vince voice, “Michael Cole! SHUT UP!” Which freezes the tool in place. Vince announces that the Main Event will be Truth and Miz versus Cena and Riley with Stone Cold as Special Guest Referee. Stone Cold freezes in mid-drink as the camera focuses on his face, beer can frozen in place in front of his mouth. CLASSIC. He withdraws his beer and smiles as Vince leaves the ring and the segment ends, cutting to commercial.
Rating – 5/5
Marcus’ Opinion: Now THAT’S how you kick off RAW! The only thing missing was Stone Cold randomly Stunning Vince. Truth was just… no. As my friend said, he’s officially gone off the deep end. Miz was a whiney little bitch as usual. Riley was actually pretty good, even though he only had one line. Cena was hilarious. And Vince… he punked out Miz. Miz should just go home at this point.
Match: Santino w/ Kozlov vs McGillicutty w/ Otunga
Santino take control early, knocking McGilicutty out of the ring and grabbing the ropes and going crazy. Dude must think he’s Batista or something. He continues his offense after McG gets in the ring, going for an early Cobra and failing. McG takes control after that, keeping Santino grounded. They got back and forth as they trade pin attempts. McG goes for a big splash on Santino in the corner who moves out of the way. The crowd starts chanting “Cobra! Cobra!” as Santino mounts a comeback offense, including his signature splits dodge. McG rolls out of the ring to avoid the Cobra as Kozlov runs over and flattens Otunga. McG lands a rope guillotine on Santino before rolling back in. He goes for an uppercut which Santino either dodges or blocks (I couldn’t tell). Santino sets up for the Cobra ad McG turns around! COBRA! Santino wins it!
Rating – 3/5
Marcus’ Opinion: Overall, the match was good. Santino, with his unorthodox offense was fun to watch. McG SUCKED. He’s just “Mister Generic Big Man” against Santino. And that’s why I gave the match such a low score.
Match: Kelly Kelly & Beth Phoenix vs The Bella Twins
Bellas take control of K2 early, but she tags in Beth who dominates. Eventually Beth lands a Slingshot Suplex of the ropes and tries to pin, but is broken up. Kelly runs in and lands a running Facebuster on the Bella who broke up the pin. Beth with the Glam Slam for the win!
Rating – 3/5
Marcus’ Opinion: Diva’s Match. Need I say more. The only reason it was rated as high as it was, was because of Beth Phoenix. Beth looks like she might have either tweaked her knee or messed up on the landing of the Reverse Atomic Drop. The Slingshot Suplex was friggin’ awesome!
Backstage: Booker T and Trish
Book begins to teach Trish the Spin-a-roonie which he named for her the Trish-a-roonie. Swagger interrupts. They exchange words. Jack says that if he was the TE Trainer, they’d all be winners. Then he calls Book out on not being “Tough Enough.” He then challenges Book to a match to which Book agrees to and says, “Can You Dig That?! SUCKA!” Then tells Swagger to back off.
Rating – 3/5
Marcus’ Opinion: Trish is still sexy as Hell. And yay for Book being Book again! Overall a good bit. But Jack… he’s just boring and always will be.
Ringside: CM Punk and Mason Ryan
CM Punk’s music hits and the two come out. Punk sits on the stage and talks about his match against Rey Mysterio and pimps out the New Nexus. He implores the fans to join him in dismantling Rey Mysterio.
Rating – 4/5
Marcus’ Opinion: It’s Heel CM Punk. Need I say more? It’s short, sweet, and to the point. And it properly hypes up the next match.
Match: CM Punk w/ Mason Ryan vs Rey Mysterio
Punk sits in the ring with Mason Ryan as Mysterios comes to his music and does his thing with the mask and the kids. Mysterio gets in the ring, Punk gets out, leaving Mason Ryan with Mysterio. Then Punk gets back in as Ryan leaves and the bell rings. Rey with a slick fast duck, avoiding an early Spinning Head Kick by Punk in the corner. Punk with a Headlock, Rey reverses into a Hammerlock, Punk reverses into a Hammerlock of his own. He then drops Rey with an Arm Drag into a pseudo-test-of-strength. Which he loses to Rey who flips him onto his back for a quick roll up and two. Rey continues with offense, diving after Punk who leaves the ring. Punk gets back in the ring and Rey vaults over the ropes, landing a leg drop. They get back to their feet and Punk goes on the offense, nearly catching Rey in a GTS. Rey counters by grabbing the ropes and pulling himself to the apron. Rey to the top rope and Punk counters, dropping Rey into the Tree of Woe. Punk with a vicious attack, dropping Rey to the mat and Punk goes for a pin, getting a two. Punk continues on his offense and tries for a couple more pins, eventually ending up in a Leg Waist Lock on Mysterio. Keeping Rey grounded, he converts into a Sleeper With Scissors. But Rey fights out only to have Punk grab Rey and toss him along the mat at one of the corners, Rey’s back wrapping around the bottom of the post. Punk picks Rey up and Rey goes on the assault, but it’s short lived as Punk stops Rey yet again by picking him up and dropping him on the ropes. Punk puts Rey on the top of the turnbuckle and tries to do something, but Rey counters, knocking Punk off the corner and leaping at him with a Body Torpedo-type attack. Both men on the mat, ref counting. Punk to his feet first, then Rey. Rey on the offense. Sprinboard Spalsh and pin for two. Rey goes for speed and Punk counters with a Power Slam and pin for two. Rey in the corner as Punk goes for a running attack. Rey kicks him in the face. Punk with another move attempt and Rey hurricanranas him to set up for the 619. Ryan gets up on the apron to stop him and Punk recovers. Rey ducks Punk’s attempted kick, bounces off the ropes, and leaps at Punk, getting him in a DDT Head Lock, spinning around and kicking Ryan in the face. He ends the spin by dropping Punk’s head into the mat with a DDT. Rey to the top and hits his body splash for the win!
Rating – 5/5
Marcus’ Opinion: This was a great match. High speed, lots of offense, and lots of countering. Rey and Punk match up well. Punk sitting in the ring while Rey makes his way down the ramp is great for Punk’s character development. Really accentuates his Heel Persona.
Segment: Obama Dream Sequence
This segment features R-Truth as the one asking the questions.
Rating – 3/5
Marcus’ Opinion: This one was better than the others, in my opinion. But still, seems out of place. I think WWE could have gone with a better ad campaign for Capitol Punishment.
Backstage: Cena and Riley
Cena tells Riley that he’s screwed Cena in the past and that he doesn’t trust Riley. Short and sweet set up for the Main Event Match before going to commercial.
Rating – 2/5
Marcus’ Opinion: Again, short and to the point. In my opinion, unnecessary. Especially since the payoff is HORRIBLE.
Ring Segment: Alberto Del Rio
Alberto Del Rio comes out in a 1960’s Rolls Royce to his theme music. Gets out at the ramp and does his signature introduction. He accuses the WWE Universe for slandering him, calling him a “hit and run coward.” Calls it an accident and proceeds to show the clip of Big Show being run down again. Clip ends and Del Rio is in the ring. He calls out Big Show so he can apologize. Show’s music hits and Ricardo Rodriguez comes hobbling out on crutches, dressed as the Big Show with a bald cap and fake beard. He’s also wearing a large baseball mitt on his left hand. Alberto talks to him and all Ricardo does is raise his left hand and grunts/roars, making fun of Big Show. Apparently, Del Rio’s newest catch phrase is, “Bad Thing Happen To Bad People!” Del Rio ends by addressing Big Show directly (not Ricardo in the ring). Alberto pulls the bald cap and fake beard off and, I think, tells the people to start chanting for Alberto in Spanish.
Rating – 4/5
Marcus’ Opinion: This bit was pretty good. It was funny. And it really sold Del Rio’s Heel Persona without making him seem stupid. Also, Ricardo’s tats for the win. Prinny and I think he might be some Indy Wrestler trying to break into WWE.
Match: Zack Ryder vs Kofi Kingston
Commercial comes back to Ziggler and Vicki in the ring with Zack Ryder. Ziggler wishes Ryder luck or something, then leaves the ring with Vicki, sitting down at the Announcer’s Table next to King. Kofi comes out to his entrance and makes his way to the ring. High speed action with lots of running and jumping , especially with Kofi leap-frogging Ryder multiple times. Ryder ends up taking control, keeping Kofi grounded. Kofi comes back after a short while and keeps Ryder off his feet, eventually landing a Boom Drop. Ryder tries to leave the ring, but Kofi grabs his leg and pulls him back in. Ryder counters by pushing Kofi with his feet. Kofi rolls through and hits Ryder with a Trouble In Paradis to pick up the win.
Rating – 2/5
Marcus’ Opinion: This was a squash match. If I had to pick a pee-break match for the night, this is the one. No offense to Kofi. It was relatively high speed and fun to watch, but due to it being a Squash Match, it lacked the depth of the Rey vs Punk Match. The reason I rated this match so low is not because it was a Squash Match, but because Ryder isn’t a Superstar that really needed to be Squashed, that I wanted to see get Squashed or, really, even deserved to be Squashed.
Match: Jack Swagger vs Booker T
Swagger’s in the ring already. We know who’s NOT going to win. Booker T’s music hits and he comes out. Book looks to be in great shape. Book starts off with a Hammerlock which Swagger breaks out of. Swagger goes to work on Book’s head, then stomps on his ass once. Swagger picks Book up, but he counters into his signature Hook Kick, then into his signature Knife Edge Chops. Book tries to continue his offense, but Swagger knocks him out of the ring. Swagger follows, slamming him against the barricade a couple of times, then throwing him back into the ring for a quick two count. Swagger stays on Book, keeping him off his feet, eventually getting him in an Overhead Elbow Lock. Book fights his way to his feet, but Swagger tosses him in a corner. Book explodes out of the corner as Swagger moves to attack, hitting Swagger with a beautifully executed Spinning Wheel Kick. Swagger to his feet as Book knocks him into the corner. Swagger runs at him as Book dodges. As Swagger bounces off the ropes, Book jumps, hitting Swagger in the face with a Reverse Hook Kick. Swagger rolls out of the ring, saying, “I don’t need this!” Seagger stays outside for the ten count as Booker T is announced the winner. As Swagger backs up the ramp, Evan Bourne runs out and cracks him across the back of the head. Swagger looks at him and chases him as Bourne slides into the ring. Swagger slides in after him and Booker T kicks him the gut. Book bounces off the ropes and hits the Booker T Special (you taking notes Kelly Kelly?). Bourne goes to the top and hits Airbourne, laying Swagger completely out. Swagger rolls out of the ring as Booker T and Evan Bourne celebrate by doing simultaneous Spin-a-roonies.
Rating – 5/5
Marcus’ Opinion: As short as this match was, it was still a great match. Booker T still looked in great shape and crisp as ever. And that double Spin-a-roonie? Highlight of the night! Honestly, neither Prinny or myself thought Evan could do a Spin-a-roonie, but he did it almost flawlessly. I really hope Booker T returns to the ring for one more run because he’s still awesome! My only disappointment with this match, and it’s not enough to bring the rating down, is that Trish Stratus didn’t interfere. I was hoping she would come down and throw Swagger back in the ring either while he was trying to get the count out or after. Bourne worked and, as I said, the double Spin-a-roonie was worth the price of admission, but come on! How can you not give Trish screen time at or in the ring?!
Main Even Match: John Cena & Alex Riley vs R-Truth & The Miz w/ Special Guest Referee Stone Cold Steve Austin
Austin’s music hits and he comes out wearing his black t-shirt and jeans from earlier. And this is why I like Stone Cold. He doesn’t need no stinkin’ Ref’s shirt! He’s Stone Cold Steve Austing and what he says is the Bottom Line! Miz’s music hits and he comes out. Then as Miz reaches the ring, Truth’s phrase (I guess) hits and he walks out to silence. Video recap of Truth tossing the drink at the Father. Then Riley’s music hits and he comes out. Have to say, I’m liking his music. Video recap of Riley grabbing Cole and beating on The Miz from last week. Then Cena’s music hits. Predictable split crowd reaction from the crowd. Commercial Break.
Back from commercial, competitors in the ring. Cena and Miz start it off. Cena with a leg takeover on Miz, dropping him to his back. Cena pulls him to his corner and tags in Riley, but Miz breaks free and runs out of the ring, tagging in Truth on his way out. Ruth and Riley square off, Truth with a Hammerlock. Riley counters to a Headlock. They release and bounces of the ropes and Truth drops Riley, going to a pin. One count. Truth picks Riley up and hits a Headlock Takedown. He then goes for some dance move into an attack, but Riley counters, dropping truth. He then picks up Truth and pulls him over to Cena, tagging him in. Truth breaks free and tags in the Miz. Cena going apeshit on Miz, slamming him into the corner, then bouncing off the ropes, hitting a face-crusher and tagging in Riley. Miz tags in Truth and gets out of the ring again. Riley makes chase, but is cut off by Truth as he slides back in the Ring. Apparently Miz tagged in Truth. Truth drops Riley and Austin gets in Truth’s face as we go to another commercial break.
Back from commercial, Miz with Riley in a Sleeper Hold. Austin checking on Riley. Riley stands up and fights out only to have Miz shove him back into his corner. Riley springs out, but Miz beats him down in front of Truth, eventually planting him with a hard DDT. Goes for pin and two count. Riley reaches for Cena and Miz lets him crawl, but stomps on the back of his head before he can reach Cena. Miz continues the offense, beating Riley into a corner and proceeds to “stomp a mudhole” in him until Austin pulls him off Riley. Miz gets in Austin’s face and swears at him as Austin tells him off. Miz eventually turns to Riley and kicks him in the gut before going for a Shoulder Charge. Riley moves out of the way as Miz Shoulder Charges the corner. Both men down, trying to tag in. Miz reaches Truth first who runs in and stops Riley from reach Cena. Truth stares Cena down and pulls Riley to the center of the ring, locking in a Sleeper Hold. He eventually releases, allowing Riley to crawl to a corner. Truth follows and beats his head in until Austin stops him. Truth takes a breather, then goes back after riley beating him some more before pulling him out of the corner and hits a Body Slam. Truth to the top rope and attempts an aerial move which Riley counters with feet to the face. Both men tag in. Cena goes Super Cena and hits his combo on Miz. Truth interrupts Cena’s AA, but is dumped over the top rope by Cena. Cena then turns and drops into the STF on Miz who crawls to the ropes. Austin breaks up the count and Cena says ok. Truth back in the ring with a chair, but Cena hits a mid-dropkick, sending Truth back out of the ring. Austin removes the chair. Miz and Cena hit each other, both dazed. Riley back in the ring with the Steel Case, stalking Cena, then hits Miz with hit. Miz stumbles… right into Austin who Stuns him (thanks for coming Miz). Miz stumbles again… right into Cena who hits the AA. Austin counts the three and Cena and Riley win!
Austin calls for beers as Riley rolls out. Austin tosses Riley a couple of beers and calls for more, giving one to Cena as the trio celebrate in true Stone Cold fashion. Cena picks up the belt and celebrates on a turnbuckle. Then… the Anonymous GM chimes in with Cole as his mouthpiece. GM reverses the decision citing Austin busing his authority by Stunning Miz. So Miz and Truth are declared the winners. Austin seems kinda upset. GM chimes in again as Austin makes his way out of the ring, saying that Austin will be the Special Guest GM for RAW next week. Austin walks over to the podium, rips the laptop off it and topples the podium. He then grabs Cole and drags him over to the ring, getting the crowd to give him a “HELL YEAH!” Then he hits Cole with a right cross and throws him in the ring. He gets in the ring himself and calls for more beer which he pours on Cole. Then he Stuns Cole. Cole pops up and Cena hits the AA on Cole. Austin calls for more beers as he and Cena celebrate by getting even more drunk. Stone Cold gets a mic and gets back in the ring, crawling up to Cole who is still dead on the mat and says, “Cole, ya Mealy-Mouthed Bastard, I’ll see ya up close and person next Monday Night on RAW! And that’s the Bottom Liiiiiiine… Because Stone Cold Said So!” Then Austin calls for even more beers, tossing a few out to Cena who had begun making his way up the ramp. Celebration continues as RAW goes off the air.
Rating – 5/5
Marcus’ Opinion: Despite the predictable Super Cena Ultra Combo at the end, this was the match of the night. The whole thing about neither Miz nor Truth wanting their respective rivals in the match for the first half of the match was played out perfectly. The moves were crisp and I didn’t see any screw ups. Riley just keeps getting more and more awesome every week. And Austin as Special Guest Referee was phenomenal. They really need to give Riley a Finishing Move. But the Case into the Stunner into the AA at the end was a classic combo. Have to say that the GM reversing the decision wasn’t expected, but oh well. Gave Austin an excuse to douse Cole in beer and Stun his ass. And that’s always good in my book! The match was only slightly above average in terms of Cena Matches go, but Austin is who and what made the match for me. That and the Post-Match Shenanigans. If Austin wasn’t involved, I MIGHT have given the match a 4/5, but that’s pushing it. I really hope Riley gets a huge push after Capitol Punishment because he really is fun to watch and I see him going far in the business.
Overall Show Rating – 4/5
Marcus’ Overall Opinion: Overall, this was a solid show from start to finish. The lowlights of the show prevented me from giving this show a perfect 5/5 score. Surprisingly, the Diva Match wasn’t the pee-break match this week. Of course, this week Beth Phoenix competed so that automatically elevates the Diva’s Match above pee-break status, in my book. While the Squad Match (or pee-break match, as I called it) did serve to lower my overall opinion of the show, I also do realize that every card has, at least, one pee-break match. The two things that really stuck in my mind as low points of this show, and this might be nitpicking, are the Obama Dream Sequence and Cena and Alex Riley’s ‘tension.’ The Obama Dream Sequence, I think, is unnecessary. As I said earlier in the review, WWE Creative could have come up with something way better than cutting together Obama’s Interviews with their own mock interviews. While it IS interesting and, sometimes funny, it just seems more like something a WWE Fan would put together and put up on Youtube to promote Capitol Punishiment, not something WWE would do. And as far as Alex Riley and John Cena are concerned, I can understand what they were trying to do, but it failed. Miserably. And Utterly. They were trying to build up this tension between the two, like, “Oh no! Is Riley going to turn on Cena and help Miz?!” But the problem was that there was little to no build up. They had that little two minute backstage segment immediately prior to a commercial break and the one minute of Riley in the ring at the end with the case where the camera angled so that it looked like Riley was stalking Cena. However, if you see the camera shot immediately before it switched to the angled shot, you can clearly see that Riley is NOT stalking Cena, but rather he’s in position to DEFEND Cena. Way to fuck it up at the 11th Hour WWE.